I hate chemotherapy!

I am feeling horrible. I had chemo on Wednesday and was told by my oncologist that I wouldn't have much nausea this time around. Treatments 1 to 4 were over and I was on a new medication for treatment 5 (to 8). I was happy to hear this as I felt pretty yucky with nausea for 4 full days with each round of chemo thus far. 

I am feeling far worse now than I have since chemo treatments started. I am not only nauseous, but my chest, stomach, esophagus, intestines seem to be all working together to do their best to work against me.....from sharp to throbbing to piercing pains. Maybe heartburn? Indigestion? I have never felt these types of aches and pains and frankly, I wish I were dead! (figure of speech) I am going to discuss with her the possibility of ending chemo altogether. I'll take my chances. Not everyone can go through chemo with all the possible and horrible side effects. There are other treatments. As far as I know, I will be having radiation and hormone therapy down the line, perhaps sooner now that I can't imagine going through more chemo.

I keep saying it over and over.....cancer isn't tough, for me anyhow. It's the follow-up treatment that is really really difficult to go through. And I can't eat!! I can drink liquids (banana smoothie and chicken noodle soup yesterday), but I seem to be unable to actually chew or swallow solid food. It is so bizarre.  My tummy is grumbling as I write this, so I will go and make another banana smoothie I guess.

I  missed our work section Christmas luncheon yesterday. I was really looking forward to it. Damn! I am obviously not at work today either and am really hoping I will be feeling well enough to go to work Monday. I have work to do and really want to be able to get some stuff done before Christmas. I love my job and the people I work with. What can I say? I am lucky.

I managed to get my tree up and decorated before this latest round of chemo. Thank goodness as I would not be able to do anything about it now had I not.

Thank you my darling Michelle for coming with me to chemo on Wednesday and for staying the whole 5 hours. I am blessed to be your mom and love you to infinity and beyond! xo