Saturday, 19 December 2015

Being sick is scary

Continuing from my last post, I felt absolutely horrible all day yesterday. Horrible nausea, burning esophageal pain (at least I think that's what it was), stomach pain, sore lower back, abdominal pain, sore thighs, knees, feet.........every inch of my body was in excruciating pain and it scared me. I couldn't get comfortable no matter what I did, whether I stood or sat, walked or stayed still. I went to bed at 8:30 pm.  I think I was 7 or 8 the last time I went to bed that early.  I didn't have a choice. I slept a bit, woke up, tried to get comfortable, prayed, cried, fell back to sleep, woke, shifted to find a better position, went back to sleep, woke, prayed.......until 8:00 am.  My pups who had patiently been by my side for almost 12 hours, jumped out of bed.  I am so grateful that they stayed patient throughout the night, giving me unconditional love. Sleep is really important when you're sick.

I am feeling slightly better today. Thank God. Though my legs, abdomen and lower back are still very sore, my upper body has calmed down a bit. I haven't been eating much, which is a good way to lose weight, but not this way.  I just had a piece of toast and a scrambled egg.  It's hard to chew and swallow and food tastes like metal.

Besides the chemo meds that are cruelly finding their way around my body, I am taking Tylenol for pain, meds for nausea, meds for constipation, meds for the infection in my leg along with all the various meds I take for depression, anxiety and asthma. How do all these meds know how to work together to make my body better?  I think they are as puzzled as much as I am.

I am not ready for Christmas, haven't been outside (except to put garage out) since Wednesday night and really feeling sorry for myself.

I hope God hasn't forgotten me and has a plan for me.  Right now, I can't imagine what that could be.

It's Coco's 6th birthday today.  Happy Birthday to my adorable Yorkie rescue!  I love you. xoxo

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