Showering is highly overrated

I take a shower every morning.  I've done so for many many years.  If the power is out and I can't shower, I freak out a little, then wash myself at the bathroom sink as best I can, get dressed and start my day.  But I feel yucky.  Getting washed at the bathroom sink doesn't quite cut it for me.  But what are you going to do?  I guess it's psychological.  I just don't feel right until I shower.

That was then.

I haven't had a shower in almost 3 months.  Uh huh, that's right.  I had my last shower on November 29, 2012.  I know what you must be thinking.  I must be one disgusting stinky pig.  The thing is, I can't shower right now.  I have an IV PICC line in my arm for the administration of antibiotics.  It can't get wet.  As well, I have a vacuum system hooked up below my right knee.

If someone had told me 3 months ago that I wouldn't have a shower for the next 3 months plus, there is a good chance I may have thrown myself in front of a bus.  It's a good thing that I take my life one day at a time.  You see, every day I trick myself into believing that just maybe, tomorrow, I can have a shower.  And each day, I pretty much know that I won't have a shower tomorrow.

I have a routine in the morning.  I go into the bathroom, say to myself "here we go again", close the door (not sure why as I live alone), take off my jammies and carefully place my machinery on the clothes basket beside me.  They told me NOT to drop the vacuum on the floor as it costs about $6000.  I dropped it one morning.  Oops.  It's ok, it still works.  I take my facecloth and soap in hand and I start washing.  I am careful not to get the IV site wet.  I am careful not to pull the tubing out of my arm or out of my knee.  I'm less anxious than I was when I first started this routine, but the frustration has built up.  I get angry, I swear, I throw things around but I get the job done.  I have red welts around the PICC line site where I use tape to keep the tubes in place.  I'm allergic to the tape.  I have a constant rash all over my left arm.  Why?  I don't know and I don't care anymore.  Oh, it's probably stress or it could be an allergic reaction to the meds.  At the end of it all, I do manage, somehow, to get clean.  I amaze even myself.

I then get dressed, being oh so careful to manage all the tubing running ramp-id (sp?) around me.  It takes a little skill and a whole lot of magic getting the clothes on correctly -- the right piece of tubing lining up to the proper arm hole in my shirt or the leg hole in my pants -- all the while trying to avoid tripping over something or knocking something off a shelf (which I've done many times).

Do I have too much free time on my hands to be writing about such mundane stuff?  You bet I do!

How do I manage washing my hair you ask?  Good question, but I'll save that answer for another day.

Until next time, good night and sweet dreams ...